AMANDA

Some of you might recognize the name, Amanda Blake. Many of you will know her as the flaming red haired, fictitious “Kitty Russel”, owner of the “Long Branch Saloon” on the long running TV show “Gunsmoke.” Besides this record breaking TV show, Amanda enjoyed a long an successful movie and television career. She was frequently honored and respected by her peers. Her name was entered into the Hall of Great Western Performers and the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum years before the honor was given to John Wayne, Gene Autry or even “The King of the Cowboys”, Roy Rogers.

A lover of animals, she founded the Arizona Animal Wildlife League, now the largest “NO-KILL” animal shelter in the state. She later started the Performing Animal Wildlife Society (PAWS) to care for animals abused in or retired from show business. After her death, PAWS opened the “Amanda Blake Memorial Wildlife Refuge” to care for African hoofed animals, many of them destined for death in illegal hunt clubs.

Amanda was also a faithful devoted wife. She served as the compassionate and wise matriarch of her family. Many of you would have been proud to have her as your wife or mother. Why am I writing this column about his woman? None of this has anything to do with the Philippines or any of you? Are you sure? You see Amanda Blake died of AIDS. Her husband cheated on her and both of them died from the dreaded disease.

There are an estimated 2,665 cases of AIDS in the Philippines. That number is growing everyday. Information on the number of local AIDS cases is not available but with anywhere from 300 to 1000 sexworkers in the area you can bet if AIDS is not here now, it soon will be. We do not have a STD Medical Clinic and testing for HIV is rare. This insidious deadly disease is lurking in the shadows of the boulevard and even your peaceful barangay.

However terrible, this does not affect you, right? You do not use drugs or prostitutes; so you are safe. Are you? We won’t discuss the many ways, other than sex or drugs, this dreaded disease can inflict itself upon our community. Let’s just talk about sex. Many people cheat on their wife, husband or fiancé. Of course they are sure their secret lover does not have AIDS. He or she is not a prostitute or drug user. But you forget, when you have sex with someone you are having sex with every person they have ever had sex with also. It is impossible to look at a person and tell if they have AIDS/HIV. The visible symptoms come late in the pathology. Your lover can have the disease and you would never know it until it was too late. How about condoms? Remember, condoms are only effective 98% of the time. Two out of every hundred times you use them, they will fail. It could be the first two times or the last two times but with a fatal disease it does not matter much.

So what do we do? First, have yourself and your significant other tested for HIV. If you are healthy remain faithful to each other. It is not just a matter of morals; it is matter of life and death. Next, we need that STD health clinic. I know of one local University student who was infected by her fiancé. She was NOT a prostitute, just a foolish girl in love. She was so ashamed she did not seek medical help. She could have died for trusting a “man” (?) who later abandoned her when she got sick. The clinic is not a matter of condoning or making prostitution easier. It is a matter of preventing more Amanda Blakes.

CULTURE SHOCK

Culture Shock may be a new term to some of you. It is an actual psychological condition.

cul-ture shock, n
Sudden exposure to unfamiliar culture; the feelings of confusion and anxiety experienced when an individual or a group suddenly finds itself in a unfamiliar cultural environment.

Filipinos moving to other countries and even Americans coming here will suffer to various degrees the ramifications if this malady. The symptoms can be as trivial as simple uncomfortable feeling and range to deep depression, homesickness and headaches. Some people may even find themselves drinking or taking drugs to relieve the symptoms.

The remedy most frequently seen is a tendency to isolate yourself and associate with others from your own culture. This often results in high concentrations of a particular ethnic group in a given area. Examples of this can be seen in Los Angeles where you have entire ethnocentric communities like “Koreatown” and “Little Saigon”. There is even a large concentration of Filipinos in Las Vegas referred to by many as “Little Manila”. Here in Dumaguete City we have gathering places for various expatriate groups. “Dunkin’ Donuts” has its small band of Americans that meets each morning. “Why Not” caters to a largely European crowd.

In these sanctuaries, expatriates can relax and feel less alien. Sadly the bulk of their time in those enclaves is often spent criticizing their new culture. This is true of Filipinos in Tucson Arizona and foreigners in Dumaguete City. They all excise their discomfort by comparing the local culture to their own and usually negatively.

As many of you know I spent thirty years in the American Army. I was forced to live, work and play in a wide variety of cultures around the world. My life was largely one long culture shock. To be effective in my job, I had to learn to adapt and adjust rapidly. I had to develop a system to help my body and mind handle a new environment and culture. Here are some suggestions for anyone living in a foreign land.

*RESPECT Every culture has its negative aspects. It serves no constructive purpose to concentrate upon or criticize your new culture for its flaws. Instead try to find the positive aspects of your new experiences. Your focus should be positive not negative. People will respect you if you first respect them.

*CONDUCT You represent your country. You are unofficial ambassador. People will see your conduct and judge your country by your actions. You should be on your best behavior not your worst.

*GUEST You a guest in the country, behave as your would want guests to behave in your home. Respect your host. A smile is even better than a handshake.

*EMBRACE Embrace the new culture. Study their history, customs and language. Even when you mess up the language, the people appreciate your efforts. A study of history will help you understand the people and their culture.

For you Americans living here in the Philippines try this:
Go to the food court at your local mall early in the morning when things are fresh and hot. Try the local cuisine. Take a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Do not worry about what it is, until you find something you like. I like kangkong and a spicy local adobo dish.

What is a Sigbin and why should you never let it lick you.
Who lives in Lake Balanan.
There are 21 species of whales and dolphins in the Philippines and 10 of them live just up the coast near Bais City. Have you taken the tour?
Did you know during the Philippine Insurrection, Filipinos killed over 4,000 well armed American troops with little more than a bolo knife? That is more troops than we have lost in Iraq in almost the same time frame against modern weapons.
Everybody knows Megellan was killed near Cebu in 1779, but can you name the local chieftain who killed him?
The story is that America “defeated” the Spanish and took possession of the Philippines; but is that the truth or merely the American version? I think Aguinaldo might have seen it a little differently.
Can you name three locally endangered species, two of which were on display at the fiesta here last year.
Did you know the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago spent 47 million dollars and three years duplicating what you can go to Apo Island and see for a few pesos?

Embrace the culture. Have an adventure of lifetime there in paradise.

SUBIC BAY RAPE CASE

I normally avoid negative subjects but is occurs to me you might wonder what Kojak thinks about the Subic Bay Rape Case. I think in a word, “TRAGIC”.

According to the Philippine police they average seven rapes a week in the Subic Rape area. I doubt any of the other rape victims got near the attention devoted to Nicole. I also doubt that the other rapists were caught or that if caught were punished. Those other six rape victims will not see justice and will live in fear the rest of their life. THAT IS TRAGEDY.

Those same police estimate as many as ten rapes per week never get reported. That is ten Filipinas that were abused and do not believe the system will protect them or provide them justice. It must be frustrating for the police to know the criminal but not be able to protect society from him. THAT IS A TRAGEDY.

I read an article by a local Filipino reporter that said Nicole gave consent by her actions. I do not believe in blaming the victim. Nicole was stupid for going to the club, getting drunk and accepting a ride from strangers. Did she consent? Only Nicole knows for sure. The penalty for being stupid should never be disrespect and rape. THAT IS A TRAGEDY.

Smith was also stupid. He should have known if Nicole was so drunk she could not walk, she was too drunk to give consent. Some have portrayed him as a vicious criminal, a danger to society. I just think he was a drunken young man thinking with the wrong head. He took advantage of drunken girl and showed her no respect. His instinct should have been to protect her, instead he exploited her. Like Nicole he was drunk and stupid; for that he will spend 40 years in a Philippine prison. Both he and Nicole will regret that drunken night all of their lives. THAT IS A TRAGEDY.

On the question of custody and punishment the rule should be simple. You are a guest in a country you obey and respect their laws or pay their penalty. When they do put Smith in a Philippine prison they should provide him protection. The penalty for his crime is 40 years in prison, not his rape or death. Unless he is protected he will be hurt and possibly killed. THAT WOULD BE MORE TRAGEDY.

There are no winners here… Everybody lost.

BEWARE

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS EMAIL ?

Dear Friend, (Impersonal Writer does not know you. Why would he trust you with 25 million dollars?)

Good day to you.(Not a typical “American” greeting. More common in the Philippines)

I am sure This mail will definitely be coming to you as a surprise, but I must crave your indulgence to introduce myself to you.(Stilted and awkward sentence structure. “English” is probably not the writer’s first language?)

I am Lance Corporal Robert Barnes, an american( Not capitalized, a mistake no "American" serviceman would make) soldier, currently serving in the third infantry division in Iraq.(First the 3rd Infantry is Army, there are NO “Lance Corporals” in the Army, finally troops call it the “3 ID”, not an uncapitalized “third infantry division” )

The reason why I am contacting you via this media is because it is anonymous. I can't contact my friends and family back home as they are listed as acquitances (sp) in my military file and to contact them may compromise the confidentiality of this transaction.(Pure fabrication !, Military does not keep those type files on troops BUT they do monitor emails to prevent security violations. No way this email came from a military computer. If it came from a civilian computer the military could NOT monitor it, so he would be free to contact whomever he wished.)

I am currently in Kuwait on duty break.(Not a term used by the military) I and my partner, secretly moved some abandoned cash in a mansion belonging to the former president, Saddam Husein(Wrong spelling; A serviceman would know how to spell his name) and the total cash is $25 Million USD.(First, Why did Saddam have “dollars” his country uses "Dinars": How did two people move a bundle of cash the size of a small car through several military check points without detection? Not possible)

As I write this letter to you, this box is here with me in cash as I secretly moved it out of Iraq to Kuwait. You do not have to be afraid of anything as no one else knows about this and everything is safe.(Bad English; awkward construction) I would be pleased and grateful to you if you could assist us in receiving this box for us on your behalf as I will be heading back soon to camp in Iraq to join my collegues.(Besides being misspelled Americans servicemen do not talk this way)

Of course, I will give you some money for your efforts. Moving the funds out of here is not going to be much of a problem as arrangements are being made towards that.(Improper English AND it is impossible to smuggle a huge box of money the size of a small car out of Iraq or Kuwait undetected…the military monitor and inspect all shipments for contraband…...smuggling this much money just can not be done)

All I want from you is your trust and assurance that if the box gets to you, you can keep it in a safe place until our arrival. I have to stop here for now. We have limited time now, kindly get back to me immediately.

In God we trust,
Lance Corporal Robert Barnes
(A sloppy attempt to gain access to your personal information so they can steal your identity / money..... There are a wide variety of these scams on the internet....NEVER give out personal information over the internet ......it is just not worth the risk.
Once your identity is stolen there is almost no way to stop the damage. The crooks are often in other countries and beyond the reach of our legal system. )

GOODBYE

In South China they have what is called "Saluting the Tomb". The family will cover the grave with red rice and peeled eggs. This honors the departed.

The people of Vietnam worship their ancestors. They often erect elaborate family tombs. Every year the entire family will go to the tomb and polish the bones of the dead. They bring food for the living and offerings for the departed. Once each year, they make thousands of little paper boats and light them with a candle. The boats are then set adrift in rivers and streams to light the way for those who have departed. The sight is beautiful and quite spectacular.

The mountains of Korea are covered with millions of small grassy mounds, much like a miniature versions of the Chocolate Mountains here in the Philippines. Each mound is a grave. Annually the family will visit the grave and leave food for the departed.

In India they often burn the body. It is customary for the wife to commit suicide by throwing herself on the funeral fire. I find it interesting that the same expectation is not made of the husband. The Taj Mahal, one of the most beautiful buildings in the world, is actually the tomb of a princess.

Every country has its own way to deal with saying goodbye. In America and the Philippines elaborate graves seem to be the fashion. I never understood exactly why I am not aware of any religious connotation.

I went with my wife's family to her father's grave. The family had to travel from all over Oriental Negros to a little fishing village. I watched as they scrapped away the dirt and debris from the simple concrete slab. Candles were burnt and many knelt and cried. Later we ate and her brother began to drink. The more depressed he got the more he drank. He loved his father very much. Later that night he had a motorcycle accident and almost joined his father in that graveyard.

There are a lot of negatives to this style of honoring the departed. A few that come to mind are:
- Graves perpetuate pain. Visiting the grave is a painful depressing journey.
- Often the family must travel halfway around the world to honor and care for the dead.
- When the family is poor they can not afford a fancy grave or the constant maintenance. They
feel guilty about neglecting to honor the departed properly.
- Graveyards are often vandalized and are a haven for hooligans.
- Few people want to live next to a graveyard. This devalues the surrounding property.
- Sometimes people will try to remove the graveyard causing all types of problems.
- Most graveyards are ugly and not maintained. There is no joy in a graveyard.

My father knew he was dying. He planned his departure with sensitivity and love for those left behind. First he authorized the doctors to give his eyes to someone who needed them. Every time I see someone with blue eyes I am reminded that somewhere, someone had their life improved by my fathers dying gift. My father requested his body be burned and the ashes placed in the Rogue River. Our family had many joyous years living, working and playing beside this beautiful river.

My military service prevented me from being by his side when he died. I could not afford to travel half way around the world to be at his funeral. But thanks to my fathers planning, I am never far from him. When I have troubles and I need to talk with him; I merely walk to the nearest river or beach. There, surrounded in beauty, I sit quietly and we talk.

I am not priest or pastor but I do not think God wants us to build ugly pain filled shrines to those who have past on. We should glory and celebrate their life, but not perpetuate the pain of their death.

SCARED

First, the "Gringo" thanks you for your letter of concern and support.
Like you, I too am very concerned about the rise in local crime but I do not live in fear. Like many developing communities around the world, Dumaguete City is losing its old sweet small town flavor and developing into a metropolis. As the good things grow, unfortunately the bad things grow also. Most of the crime does not seem random but has very specific targets and causes. The average law abiding citizen is not in a lot danger, especially if they use a little caution.

I honestly think the local police are doing everything within their power to stop crime. The problem is more complex than just the actions of the police. We as a community must join and support them in the difficult task of law enforcement. Police can arrest the criminal but without our testimony they can not convict him. Often witnesses are intimidated or bought off and the criminal is again free to hurt others. I know of one incident where a son was murdered and the murderer bought his freedom. Later that same murderer killed his victims' brother. That second family would still have a father if the murderer had been convicted as justice demands. It must be horrendously difficult for the police to see a known criminal walk away without punishment and know it is just a matter of time before he hurts others. That knowledge is what creates vigilantes.

I do not condone vigilantes. Vigilantes are an anthema to a civilized community, but I understand the pressures that give them birth. Vigilantes are an indication that the justice system is not working. If you want to stop vigilante murders; the first step is convicting the criminals.

Ms. Downs, you are not guaranteed safety anywhere in this world, but I would feel comfortable in saying there are many places much more dangerous to live than Dumaguete City. Many of those places are found right there in Texas. With you and other concerned citizens willing to stand up and demand justice maybe we can bring safety and some of that sweet old fashioned charm back to our historic city. We look forward to having you re-join us here in paradise.

Welcome home.

GO WITH THE FLOW

A few years ago, in another Far Eastern country, I climbed into a taxi in a big metropolitan city. Before I could sit down, the taxi was going 120 KPH. Buildings, women, children and dogs whizzed by the windows. My life flashed before my eyes. Parachuting out of an airplane was not as terrifying as that short taxi ride.

In a big European city, I got stuck in traffic. The taxi driver merely drove on the sidewalk. People were jumping into doorways to get out of his way.
On a big Caribbean island I got stuck in a traffic jam on a major highway. My driver just drove on the grass along the aide of the road. On that same island I saw a man shot over a parking place.

So when people come to me and complain about the traffic here in the Philippines, I have to smile. I guess it is a matter of how you look at it.

In America, on average, 41,000 people are killed on our highways every year. One out of every four of those deaths is caused by "anger". Over 10,000 people killed every year just because someone got mad. We have even created a special label for the phenomenon. It is called "Road Rage". What is even more frightening, 80% of American drivers admit to being "angry" while they are driving and four out of five of those drivers carry a gun. I have had bullet holes put in the trunk of my car.

I do admit I am very concerned about vehicles here that drive at night without lights. Words can not express how dangerous that is. Every time I see a small baby being carried on a motorcycle I cringe. If there is an accident that precious baby will have no chance of survival.

Currently the hot topic is the pending enforcement of the helmet laws. I am in favor of anything that will save lives but I doubt the enforcement of this law will do much to preserve life. Most of the helmets in use here are not very effective and there are no helmets for babies. Also I understand not everyone will be required to wear a helmet only the vehicle operator. It is worthy of note that several American states have repealed their helmet laws. They found that the helmets often cause more accidents than they prevented. First, helmets often limit your vision and block your hearing, increasing danger not reducing it. Beyond that, they sometimes give the operator a false sense of security that cause him to go faster. Higher speeds mean greater injury.

For me the traffic here is really not that bad. It is sort of like a "symphony in chaos". In all that chaos is a certain level of "civility and friendliness". People stop and let others go first. I rarely see anyone waving a clinched fist and screaming at another driver. The answer seems to be relax and learn to go with the flow.